So your roommate's a bit messier than you.... and maybe he or she is up all night making noise while you're trying to sleep. Welcome to college and living the dorm life! It's typical that some conflict will occur during the year and guess what? It's normal and to be expected. Coming from different backgrounds and being put in a situation where you've got to compromise isn't always easy, but it doesn't have to be hard either! Not to worry, thousands of college students move in every year with the same thoughts and make it through just fine. Before you get upset and decide it's time to move out, think about these things and see how they might work for you.
You shouldn't have to fight for your rights.... Every Resident has the right to:
If you're not talking about problems, how will anyone ever know they exist? The first step to working out and solving your problems with roommates is good, healthy communication. Try this:
Step # 1: Speak to your roommate(s) directly and state your issues neautrally. Using "I statements" such as, "I feel like....," or "It is difficult for me when" are helpful in ensuring that others don't feel that thet they must defend themseleves or their actions. Be prepared to listen to their feelings as well and remain objective and open-minded. Remember, this is likely just as difficult for them as it is for you.
Step #2: Revisit each problem and offer and encourage resolutions. Be prepared to hear all possible ideas and understand that each party must play a role in compromising on some level. .
Step #3: Each roommate should list two or three ways in which they can give and take on each point raised. One good way to do this is to ask the question, "What will I do to make this situation a better one." having each person answer this same question and write down their answers is helpful in making sure that everyone is involved in making changes.
Step #4: Write out and sign a "contract" for how you will resolve the concern in a simple format. Talk to your RA and have them take a look and help in getting everything on paper.
Step #5: Agree on a date when you will set aside time to discuss how things are going in relation to the item(s) of concern. Again, have your RA help you with this.... it's great to have a third party invovled to help eeryone stay on track on think from a new perspective.
So maybe this isn't foolproof.... but it's a great start! You have a lot of support in your residence hall so don't be afraid to ask! Need more ideas? Try this website for more helpful hints Suite101.com and when all you want is for your roommate to be "just like you" read this short article from The New york Times.
- Read, study, and sleep in their room with as little intereference as possible. Unreasonable noise inhibit the excercise of this right.
- Enter the room whenever she/he would like
- Be free of physical or emotional harassment, intimidation and harm
- Speak openly
- Be treated with respect
If you're not talking about problems, how will anyone ever know they exist? The first step to working out and solving your problems with roommates is good, healthy communication. Try this:
Step # 1: Speak to your roommate(s) directly and state your issues neautrally. Using "I statements" such as, "I feel like....," or "It is difficult for me when" are helpful in ensuring that others don't feel that thet they must defend themseleves or their actions. Be prepared to listen to their feelings as well and remain objective and open-minded. Remember, this is likely just as difficult for them as it is for you.
Step #2: Revisit each problem and offer and encourage resolutions. Be prepared to hear all possible ideas and understand that each party must play a role in compromising on some level. .
Step #3: Each roommate should list two or three ways in which they can give and take on each point raised. One good way to do this is to ask the question, "What will I do to make this situation a better one." having each person answer this same question and write down their answers is helpful in making sure that everyone is involved in making changes.
Step #4: Write out and sign a "contract" for how you will resolve the concern in a simple format. Talk to your RA and have them take a look and help in getting everything on paper.
Step #5: Agree on a date when you will set aside time to discuss how things are going in relation to the item(s) of concern. Again, have your RA help you with this.... it's great to have a third party invovled to help eeryone stay on track on think from a new perspective.
So maybe this isn't foolproof.... but it's a great start! You have a lot of support in your residence hall so don't be afraid to ask! Need more ideas? Try this website for more helpful hints Suite101.com and when all you want is for your roommate to be "just like you" read this short article from The New york Times.
Oh- and you don't have to go it alone, talk to your RA or another staff member in your building to help you work it out!
