I love my Roomie BUT....

So your roommate's a bit messier than you.... and maybe he or she is up all night making noise while you're trying to sleep. Welcome to college and living the dorm life! It's typical that some conflict will occur during the year and guess what? It's normal and to be expected. Coming from different backgrounds and being put in a situation where you've got to compromise isn't always easy, but it doesn't have to be hard either! Not to worry, thousands of college students move in every year with the same thoughts and make it through just fine. Before you get upset and decide it's time to move out, think about these things and see how they might work for you.

You shouldn't have to fight for your rights.... Every Resident has the right to:

• Read, study, and sleep in their room with as little intereference as possible. Unreasonable noise inhibit the excercise of this right.


• Enter the room whenever she/he would like
  
• Be free of physical or emotional harassment, intimidation and harm


• Speak openly


• Be treated with respect

Communication is key!
If you're not talking about problems, how will anyone ever know they exist? The first step to working out and solving your problems with roommates is good, healthy communication. Try this:

Step # 1: Speak to your roommate(s) directly and state your issues neautrally. Using "I statements" such as, "I feel like....," or "It is difficult for me when" are helpful in ensuring that others don't feel that thet they must defend themseleves or their actions. Be prepared to listen to their feelings as well and remain objective and open-minded. Remember, this is likely just as difficult for them as it is for you.

Step #2: Revisit each problem and offer and encourage resolutions. Be prepared to hear all possible ideas and understand that each party must play a role in compromising on some level. .

Step #3: Each roommate should list two or three ways in which they can give and take on each point raised. One good way to do this is to ask the question, "What will I do to make this situation a better one." having each person answer this same question and write down their answers is helpful in making sure that everyone is involved in making changes.

Step #4: Write out and sign a "contract" for how you will resolve the concern in a simple format. Talk to your RA and have them take a look and help in getting everything on paper.

Step #5: Agree on a date when you will set aside time to discuss how things are going in relation to the item(s) of concern. Again, have your RA help you with this.... it's great to have a third party invovled to help eeryone stay on track on think from a new perspective.

So maybe this isn't foolproof.... but it's a great start! You have a lot of support in your residence hall so don't be afraid to ask! Need more ideas? Try this website for more helpful hints Suite101.com and when all you want is for your roommate to be "just like you" read this short article from The New york Times.

Oh- and you don't have to go it alone, talk to your RA or another staff member in your building to help you work it out!

Destination: Beyond Procrastination

The leaves have fallen, the temperature is dropping, and your motivation seems to be following suit. Sound familiar? With the end of the semester right around the corner, it's tough not to become plagued by the procrastination bug. You can't wait to head home and unwind for the holidays, but projects, papers, and endless hours of test prep have been weighing heavily on your mind, with no end in sight. Well, cheer up! There's no need to cancel those holiday plans and succumb to a season of gloom and doom under a pile of deadlines just yet. Here are a few tips to get your motivation motor running smoothly 'til the very end:

* Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Planner:
Nothing can drive someone crazier than trying to remember countless tasks, all with varying deadlines and degrees of importance. Then there is always that one thing you forgot to do when you were at the (insert the last place you just were) and now you have to go back. First step to accomplish everything you need to is to write it all down, even the low priority stuff like "buy shampoo." Getting all those to-do lists onto paper will alleviate some space in your brain, which will reduce mental clutter and stress.

* Break it Down into Small Steps:
So now you've written "paint mural" and "study chapters 9-25," but don't think that the anxiety will simply melt away from seeing your list in writing rather than in the memory bank. A big project (or even medium task) can still feel daunting, so it helps to break it down into smaller steps. A list of small steps or tasks also helps when you have an energy level of one (or less), but still want to be productive - find the small tasks on the list that will take you 15 minutes or less and just get them done. You’d be surprised how much you can get done and how accomplished you can feel in 15 minutes!

* Make a Plan:
Now you have a to-do list that is a mile long and more stress than before, right? This is when you take back control of your list. Sit with a cup of coffee, a calendar and your list and figure out a plan of action! Take the tasks, put them in the order they need to be and can be done and set up a schedule for yourself. Make sure to spread it out so that you're not scrambling at the last minute. Don’t forget to make sure you have put in time to enjoy the season and/or a well deserved break from the list (see the next tip). The key to this task? Actually following your schedule!

* Set Your (Break) Goals:
That's right, a break! Even the busiest of students need some down time, especially when you are working on multiple projects at once. Rather than pulling a bunch of all-nighters trying to get everything out of the way, allow yourself enough time to begin your work, and take some time for yourself when you begin to feel frazzled. Want to feel productive on your breaks? Go for a walk in between studying to get in the exercise you couldn’t get in during exam week. Need to lift your mood before moving onto the next book? Try scoping out some holiday lights at Rockefeller Center, or go window shopping at Macy's in Herald Square. NYC in December is like no other place! Don’t miss the chance to enjoy it.

* Still Can't Organize Your Thoughts?
Organize Your Work Space! Your study environment can make or break your productivity level. Trying to calm down and focus on the details of a Biology chapter? That's probably going to be tough if the desk you're sitting at contains old cereal bowls, dirty tissues, and leftover candy wrappers from Halloween. Cleaning out your clutter can help boost your motivation level, and it will feel good to cross something off that aforementioned to-do list!

* You Are Not Alone...In The Dorm!
One of the greatest things about residence life is that there are hundreds of other people going through very similar experiences as you. If you're still feeling desperate and overwhelmed, don't be afraid to talk to a friend, roommate, your RA or classmate. See how they're handling (or not handling) the workload, what they do to study and prepare, and if there are any tasks you could potentially accomplish together. Sometimes just knowing that there are many others out there struggling to push through to the end of the semester makes you feel like less of an academic outsider.

With a goal-setting attitude, determination to complete tasks, and a promise to celebrate your accomplishments, these factors should help you stay afloat and finish the semester successfully, just in time for a little holiday relaxation. Good Luck!